Day 4

I hurt... everywhere, but not from anything I did physically. In the afternoon, we went ot see the orphanage we tended to last year. Of the 75 amazing kids we met, only about 30 are left. The kid I sponsored for private school, Bonti age 13, left about 5 months ago, not to be heard from or seen since. He had no family left. The fire in the kids I knew is gone, not just in some of them, all of them. No one seems happy. When we asked if they had eaten today, this was at quarter to five, the initial response was "we ate this mourning, we will eat tomorrow". All of us wiped our bags clean of food and candy, and the orphans all ate it without hesitation. The owner is driving the Cambodian Hope Association into the ground. There is a little girl, about two, who is mentally disabled, she should be in the government run orphange for the disabled where she could be getting medications. Instead the owner keeps her there where he can show her off and ask for money. We left at about ten to five and we asked the owner what was for dinner and who was making it. Our answer was fried fish, and when the rest of the kids get back from school, which was at 5. Nothing we being prepared, and they were suppose to eat in ten minutes... I know he was lying and those kids did not eat dinner. I do not know yet if we will go back before I come home so I had to say goodbyes like it would be forever. I only spent an hour and a half with them in the past year and I had to try and say my final goodbyes. I am out of words and do not know how to describe my pain and feelings right now .I feel sick to my stomach and need to get some rest. Thank you all for your support, I will write again soon.